Do you ever feel as if you are living under a squall? Ever feel like that storm seems to be pouring down on you while everyone around you is living in the sunshine? We have those kinds of storms here in Montana. I recorded one on my iPhone yesterday. I tried uploading the video here, but maybe the file is too big for our WordPress format. I’ll put it on my Facebook page if I can. Go there to see “The Squall” at http://www.janbeekman.facebook.com. It was a sight to behold. I began thinking about sights we behold daily – and how what we see alters our mood. If I were in Aurora today – seeing the misery, feeling the grief, agony and pain of loss, I’d know I was in a squall. I’d wonder if the whole world was raining craziness. My heart goes out to those people who have lost loved ones.
In our Writers of Madison County “free write” time today, the topic was “Something You See Everyday.” I didn’t write about a squall. Those are not a daily occurrence. But, the squall was included in the thoughts. Here is where my mind meandered today:
Even without a mirror, I see myself every day. Even if I were blind, I’d see myself. The self I see and care about most is not what a mirrored reflection reveals. It’s what I am inside – where only God and I can view and feel it. My breath, the pulsation of blood through my veins, my motives, the hidden emotions… I feel the serenity of the Holy Spirit living in me. I see a woman at peace. I see a woman struggling at times with the temptations common to all humankind: greed, selfishness, self-centeredness, shortness of temper, anger, envy. But, I see these emotions as only a temporary squall. They pass. The goodness, the generosity, love, self-control, and gratitude win out. I see the struggle everyday. But ultimately, I see the outcome. The squall passes. Sunshine emerges. Serenity abides.
What do you see everyday? Do you see yourself? Are you in a temporary squall? It will pass.